Thursday 3 May 2012

It's all bananas...

I nearly choked on a banana in work this morning. As I took a bite from it, the memory of eating one last night popped into my head and I started to convulse with laughter, followed by convulsions brought on by choking on the banana I had in my mouth.

The memory that caused this was when I tried to eat a banana last night: having eaten half of it, I tried to peel back the skin to get at the rest and somehow it popped out of its skin high into the air and landed in a full glass of wine. The wine was splashed everywhere. Over me, the sofa, the curtains; there are even spatters on the ceiling. I could only laugh when it happened (after shouting "cock" several times at the top of my voice).

This story (and the choking that prompted it) sparked a discussion about the best way to peel a banana. A colleague I work with, who shall remain nameless (@NLMButterfly), said that she peeled hers from the end opposite to the the stalk. Silence, We all looked at her as if she'd just announced that she strangled kittens in her spare time.

She went on to explain to us that there was less chance of damaging the banana flesh that way. There were many looks of disbelief until, at lunchtime, she demonstrated her method before us. Begrudgingly, someone said, "It looks a more monkey-like banana, I suppose". Whether this is a good likeness, I guess, is down to your personal preference for monkeys.

And whilst we're on the subject of personal preference for monkeys, before going for my swim tonight, I popped into my local polling station on the way home from work to put a big X on my voting slip for the local elections. At the last general election in May 2010, much to my regret (and shame) I voted Liberal Democrat. I have been a Labour supporter all my life but was won over by Cleggy's smooth patter. Never again; I'm going back to my roots; tonight I voted for my local Labour candidate.

I can never understand those who don't vote. I'm not going to bang on about people laying down their lives so that we could have the right to vote, I'm not going to yap on endlessly about it being our duty and I'm not going to bore you with a list of countries in the world where people do not have this right that we seem to take for granted. No, as undeniably true as all of that is; if you don't vote, then I don't want to hear your whinges about services being cutback or withdrawn, about how crap local amenities are or whether the roads are gritted often enough next January. No, now's your chance to have your say.

If it was up to me, I'd make voting compulsory. Countries exist where not voting is breaking the law. Voting in these countries is often seen as more of a duty than a right and I think that's what I believe. People who don't vote where that right exists have no voice, they are (quite literally) dumb. I just don't get it. To continue with tonight's theme; it's all bananas...

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