Gayness was thrust upon me at an early age...

This morning I tweeted, "Gayness wasn't my choice, it was thrust upon me at an early age." It was a joke after I'd stumbled upon the photograph on the right. It's me aged four and dressed up to the nines for a birthday party. And you've got to admit, I do look a bit gay. OK then, a lot gay!

I went for a run at midday and whilst out it got me thinking about the nature/nurture debate: Am I gay because of my genes or am I gay because my mother made me gay by dressing me up to look like some sort of proto Dale Winton? What made me a homosexual?

As I ran, one thing struck me: I think that some straight people believe that us gays decide to be gay about the time we start puberty and that it's a sexual thing. For me, I knew there was something different way before the trauma of puberty started. I can remember, aged eight, arguing with my younger brother about a tent we'd been given; he wanted to put it up and I wanted to wear it. I can well remember re-enacting every scene from Hello Dolly after seeing the film at a tender age and I remember that by late afternoon on Christmas Day 1970 my Action Man was stripped of his combat gear and was wearing a dress and full slap. I don't remember ever making a concious decision about it.

My mother has recently told me that she thinks her father was gay and I know of a few second cousins on that side of the family that are gay. Recent research points to a genetic influence and that certainly feels right but I don't think you can rule out environmental influences either. I was always encouraged to express myself and in that environment I flourished and so did my gay sensibility. When puberty arrived and I started to feel attracted to boys rather than girls, it was building on a well established gay sensibility.

Whether nature or nurture, I think it was kind of inevitable in my case.