Like the Stepford Wives, only gay, bearded and on steroids...

I met a guy from London on the beach today. We seemed to get along and made one another laugh. We were lying next to each other and just got talking, the way you do... I think there's a lot to be said for that gay humour, sensibility, outlook... Or should I say, weltanshauung, as a nod in the direction of the gay male German majority on the beach.

It didn't take long for the guy from London (Andy) and I to get talking to the Germans next to us; all of them wearing up to the minute fashion swimwear - and some of them changing trunks to go for a swim and changing again when they returned. It was like a fashion show. They were a nice group of guys and seemed friendly enough.

It was the Germans' last day and their tans bragged of a full 10 day break. As is the way with so many German gay men, the look is everything; the swimwear, the months spent in the gym sculpting those muscles, the shaved heads, the aviator style sunglasses and the stubbly beard.

Passport control at Las Palmas airport must be so confused when the gay boys arrive; it's the look that so may gay men aspire toward; like the Stepford Wives, only gay, bearded and on steroids. Try as I sometimes might, I don't think I look like a gay Stepford Wife yet...?