Half-heard and misheard...

It started on the beach this morning when a French guy pointed at the sun-lounger next to mine and asked me in French, "Is this free?" At least, that's what I thought he said. I nodded helpfully and said, "Yes". Indeed, at that time of the morning, most of them are free. With a gallic shrug, he walked off to find another some distance away.

I now realise that he must've asked if it was taken rather than free. My nodding and positive response only sent him away rather than the intended, "Be my guest." A shame really, as I would have been more than prepared to rub suntan lotion in his back.

A little later, two German goths passed. Yes, picture it: I'm on a gay beach in Maspalomas, it's 30C+ and two German goths pass. Admittedly, they weren't wearing full goth uniform; metal capped boots with a floor length black leather coat but they had a fair covering of tattoos, were pierced with a lot of silver wear, their hair was dyed jet black and their skin was alabaster white.

I knew they were German because as they passed in front of me, one made a remark to the other; I don't know what but it sounded very German. With that he pointed at me and both of them laughed. My instinct was to shout back, "Oh yeah, and what have you two come as...?" But given this morning's misinterpretation, I thought it better to stay silent.

Some lads from the South East of England (judging by their accents) sat on the sun-loungers in the row behind me. Their conversations revolved around how drunk they had got the night before, what each had got up to and how in their current hungover state they regretted their antics.

Again, I think that was the gist of it; sprinkled with a heavy dusting of youth slang, it was sometimes difficult to pick out the key phrases such as: "battered", "back to his hotel", "up the bum", "still hurts" and "what goes on on holiday, stays on holiday".