Caerdydd bound...

I'm jammed in a packed carriage of football fans returning from the Manchester United/Aston Villa game. I want a pee but getting to the loo is out of the question. I'd hoped that most would get out at Crewe; they didn't. At least I have a seat - a wet seat, if I can't have a pee very soon.

As we pull into Shrewsbury, the clouds that fleck the sky are aflame with the dying rays of a blood red setting sun. A child across the aisle has farted and the sickly sweet stench permeates the entire carriage. He giggles with his friend. I am not giggling.

I close my eyes and try to relax. It's been a lovely, spur of the moment, surprise of a weekend. Manchester has certainly changed a lot since I was properly there last. I've passed through it a few times in the last couple of years but you can't gauge a town from passing through it. One thing that hasn't changed is the relaxing welcome it has always extended toward me.

The aisle seems a little more navigable and so I squeeze my way to loo but when I get there a passenger tells me that it's out of order. I press forward to the next carriage and after an agonising wait, enter the vacated loo. It stinks of an acrid and eye watering ammonia. At last I manage to have a pee. The relief almost moves me to tears, or is it the ammonia?

The sun has now disappeared and the sky moves from the palest icy blue in the west to the deepest inky indigo in the east. On returning to my seat, the children are giggling again. I suspect the worst and my suspicions are well founded; that sweet sickly wave envelops me again.

I close my eyes again and the carriage babble melts into a fuzz. I have enjoyed seeing Manchester again; the beautiful Town Hall and Albert Square, Salford Quays, the new MediaCityUK and (is the Pope a Catholic?) Canal St. In addition to this was the introduction to Milnrow and a 70s themed evening in the local pub, complete with a snake-skinned, cat-suited lounge singer. The whole weekend was made even more pleasurable by some lovely meals and, of course, the company of my friend, Howard.

This train journey is irritating me now. I want stretch out but can't. My new shoes have rubbed my heels and they feel a bit sore. I am tired and I feel a bit tetchy. I want to be home and in bed now. I close my eyes and start to day dream. I am awoken by children's giggles again...