WTF...?

There are things I've seen this last week to which I should not have been exposed. Certainly, children, the elderly and those of a nervous disposition who were subjected to these abominations may well have suffered lasting psychological damage.
In short:

Sandals worn with socks.
Three quarter length trousers (Can someone explain what's the point?).
Leggings (Eurghh!).
T shirts with text such as, "I'm with stupid" followed by an arrow pointing left or right.
Beach towels with prints of naked women (Sleazy or what...?).
Sunglasses that grip over the top of the head rather than the conventional folding arms over the ears.
Crocs.
His and hers matching lesiure wear.
Plunging necklines on leathery wrinkled collapsing cleavages.
Baseball caps worn back to front (Unless your name is Bart Simpson).
Trousers that give you a camel toe effect.
Too much bling.
Combat boots (I know they're in fashion but not on the beach in 25C+ heat!).
A tweed suit with a thick shirt and knitted tie (You're in the Canaries not the Cotswolds).
Black knickers under thin white cotton trousers (Buy some white knickers ffs).
A ginger toupé.

Perlease...!