The blinders of fear...

Another 5km trouble free run in the bag. No twinge, no stiffness, no problems whatsoever, except... Except, it wasn't that trouble free; throughout tonight's run I kept thinking about the rioting and looting that has taken place over the last four nights. In my mind, I could hear the arrogant justifications and see the ugly behaviour. As I ran I kept replaying in my mind some of the images of these rioters, muggers and looters:

Injured boy mugged during disturbances in London

I'll keep doing this every day until I get caught.

Showing the rich we do what we want

I felt thoroughly depressed by it all and almost slowed to a walk for the last leg of my run. I guess I'm someone who believes that the majority of people are good, that the majority of people will help their neighbour and that the majority of people are altruistic. Continuing to have faith in that belief has certainly been tested by the events of the last few days. I feel as if my faith in humanity has been kicked out of me. They leave an ache in the lower abdomen; the type you get only from a kick in the bollocks. It's hard to keep running after a kick down there.

The attitude and behaviour I've seen in reports such as those above and others over the last few days has been nauseous. The phrases these people peddle are soundbites, borne of ignorance and shoe-horned in to their arguments to shore up their ugly and flimsy defences. Repeat them often enough and you forget any meaning they may once have held; they are now reshaped and thrust forward as weapons. This I find frightening, depressing and hopeless.

I finished tonight's run feeling deflated and exhausted, not from the run on a physical level but on an emotional one. I've mentioned before how linked the physical and emotional are when you run. Tonight's run was a run framed by bleak despair.

And then, just when you think things couldn't get better, you stumble on something which swells your faith in humanity and fills you with hope once more. Tariq Jahan, father of 21 year old Haroon, one of the three Asian men who died as a result of a hit and run attack on them in Birmingham last night, took time to speak about his son. "Today, we stand here to call to all the youth to remain calm, for our communities to stay united," he said. "I have lost my son - if you want to lose yours step forward, otherwise calm down and go home." Here he is, just hours after his son's death:

I miss him; I miss him deeply

"Hope removes the blinders of fear and despair and allows us to see the big picture" Barbara L. Fredrickson