Going bananas...

I seem to go through phases with foods. I can survive on one dish for weeks before I get bored and take up another. It might be beetroot this month and kidney beans the next. At the moment, I seem to have a thing for bananas; the smell and then the taste of the banana flesh is intoxicating to me.

Reading up on Bananas, I found out that Americans eat more bananas than any other fruit; that's about 12 kilos per person per year. However, Ugandans dwarf that figure, consuming nearly 230 kilos per person per year. Bejesus!

After a debate in work the other day about how many it's safe to eat before you get poisoned by the potassium they contain, I did some research. There are many stories out there warning against eating too many but you'd have to consume somewhere in the region of 250 in one sitting to feel any adverse effects from potassium. You'd burst well before being poisoned by the potassium.

Contrary to popular belief, bananas do not grow on trees. No, they grow from a root system that produces an above ground stem. The plant is officially classified as a tree like herb and the banana is actually a berry. Bananas are the only fruit to contain the amino acid, tryptophan and vitamin B6; these help our bodies produce seratonin, which help counter depression.

The health benefits of eating bananas are many, with claims that they can help lower blood pressure, ease mosquito bites, help with stress and even cure warts. If all the claims I've read are true, bananas will soon be hailed as the new wonder drug, more versatile than aspirin! Go buy a bunch today, before some supermarket slaps a superfood sticker on them and their price trebles.

For more on bananas...

Today's run at 11:40
Distance	5.03 km	Time	27:40
Pace	5:30 min/km	Cadence	80 spm
Comments: Grey.

Soup, painkillers and antibiotics...

I have a problem with a dental implant where the crown has become loose and is digging into my gum. The gum has become inflamed and the whole right side of my upper jaw is aching and I can't bite.

This is not fun. I rang my dentist this morning for an appointment but he's not well so I saw another dentist at the practice this afternoon who tried but failed to remove the crown.

They think that my dentist will be back on Wednesday and they are hoping that I can see him then for him to try and remove it. I hope so. Until that date, I'm living on soup, painkillers and antibiotics.

Dental pain really is the worst kind of pain...

Today's run at 17:55
Distance	5.01 km	Time	27:50
Pace	5:34 min/km	Cadence	80 spm
Comments: Bright and sunny.

Have you seen my vastus medialis...?

A lovely 5km run around the Bay this morning. The sun was shining and it was still early enough to be quite peaceful and still; before the crowds descend - as they invariably do on weekends when the weather is good.

I haven't run since last Sunday because I've had a bit of a knee twinge thing going on (technical term). It's felt very similar to the early stages of the problems I had with my knee over two years ago. It's not been painful but a little uncomfortable when going up and down stairs. But then, that's how it started last time.

That episode stopped me running for a month or more and involved regular visits to the physio to get it sorted. This week I've been swimming instead and doing the leg exercises the physio prescribed two years ago. The exercises involve building up the Vastus Medialis (sometimes known as the teardrop muscle) on my right leg.

And the reason I need to concentrate on this muscle in particular? Having dislocated my right hip when I was 18 and then badly broken my right ankle 5 years ago which required surgery to pin and plate my fibula; my right leg is weaker than my left and because of that my knee is prone to track incorrectly - building up my Vastus Medialis corrects that.

I'm pleased to announce that the exercises are paying off; this morning's run caused me no pain, not even the slightest knee twinge thing going on...

Today's run at 7:45
Distance	5.01 km	Time	27:10
Pace	5:25 min/km	Cadence	83 spm
Comments: Bright and sunny.

You've got to laugh...

As some of you may know, I am a diabetic. I have been since I was 15 when my pancreas turned on itself and stopped producing insulin. Ever since that date, I have injected insulin into my system several times a day to stay alive. Life as an insulin dependent diabetic has never been a walk in the park. There are days when it's a bit of battle. I soldier on. So far, I'm winning.

The consultant I see at the hospital, asked me a couple of months back if I'd do a video interview that will be used in a presentation to health professionals about different perspectives on hypoglycemia (low blood glucose). They had lined up interviews with diabetics, paramedics, nurses and doctors to try and gain as a wide a picture as possible. Today was my turn. They asked if I'd any stories about hypoglycemia I'd be willing to tell on camera. And so...

About 9 months ago, for some reason I was getting a higher than normal number of night time hypos. I used to wake at the faintest twitch in blood sugar levels but this had changed. I'd had several where I'd not woken and then went on to fit in my sleep.

Now if I stayed in bed, everything would be great; what safer place is there to have a fit? However, on the rare instances where this has occurred, I've not managed to stay in my bed. No, I've woken on the floor, the bedside lamp smashed and me lying there in dangerous proximity to shards of broken glass. It's a worry.

On this one night, I'd tested my blood glucose levels before getting into bed; a little higher than I'd've liked but better that than a nocturnal hypoglycemic reaction. Listening to BBC Radio 4 I'd gently slipped into a deep sleep. My next memory was feeling very cold; chilled to the bone cold. At first I thought it was a dream but gradually I started to come round. I slowly began to realise that the reason I was cold was because I was outside my flat on the communal landing. Another reason for my chill feeling being, I was absolutely naked. Furthermore, my front door was locked.

I must have started to slip into hypoglycemia, panicked, fled the flat and then in my confusion allowed the door to slam shut behind me. How long I'd been there, I don't know? I had scrapes on my back and arms where I'd fallen and scratched myself on the letterbox. What should I do? I pawed at the door for what must have been 30 minutes, still delirious from the low blood sugars. Eventually, I had enough presence of mind to shoulder barge my own front door in; thereby earning myself yet another bruise.

I had something to eat and returned to bed, stunned, shattered, bruised and bleeding. I got up when my alarm went off and made my way into work. Despite feeling terrible, I viewed going to work as normality; something to cling on to, something aspirational.

When I tell the story now, I smile and joke about it. I see the ridiculousness of it. At the time, however, it was embarrassing, humiliating and grim. But, you've got to laugh, haven't you...?

You are what you eat...

As I got into the pool for my swim tonight the warm fumes of belched pasty and chlorine wafted over me. I could see the culprit; he'd just turned and done a little kick to begin his next lap. The exertion must have forced a burp out which had perculated through the water to the surface. I felt sick. Who eats a pasty before going for a swim?

According to many reports, we are beginning to wake up to the benefits of eating a healthy diet. Open any magazine or newspaper and you won't have to look too far for that article on healthy eating. Those of us that care about these things try to avoid too much processed food and we watch the fat, salt and sugar levels in the foods we eat.

However... There are a group of Cardiff school kids that get on the same bus as me in the mornings that have successfully managed to avoid all literature on healthy eating. The stink of barbecue, beef and onion, smokey bacon and prawn cocktail flavour crisps on the bus is overpowering. A packet of Walkers seems to be the preferred breakfast of choice round our way.

Human suffering...

On waking this morning, I found that I had a blister on each of my heels from all the walking I did in Manchester in a spanking brand new pair of shoes on the weekend. These blisters were further irritated today by my work shoes. They haven't broken yet but it can only be a matter of time.

I also have a pain at the back of my leg, just above the knee. I can only describe the feeling as that sharp sort of pain you get when you damage a muscle. I have no idea how this happened. Throughout today it's felt, at best, uncomfortable and, at times, quite painful - like I've torn something.

The mad looking photo of me to the right was taken at a restaurant in Salford Quays on Sunday afternoon. Perhaps the face I'm pulling is as a result of the pain I'm suffering or maybe it's the cessation of it because I've just sat down, taken a glug of my wine and started to relax? Whatever the reason, I quite like it.

I very nearly didn't go running tonight because of my weekend war wounds. In the end, I decided to go for a short run only, promising myself that at the first sign of a twinge I would stop and return home. As it happened, my heels and my leg suffered less pain on my run than they had at any point throughout today. Isn't the body a wonderful thing?

I hurt like hell again now though...

Today's run at 17:26
Distance	5.01 km	Time	28:08
Pace	5:37 min/km	Cadence	79 spm
Comments: Sunshine and showers.

Immortality...

Swimming in a virtually empty 50m pool is the perfect opportunity to ponder the big moral questions that face us, such as the meaning of life or is Madonna better than Kylie. Today it was Easter that captured my attention as I thrashed, gulped and gasped up and down my lane.

As the different Christian churches and denominations struggle to make their story more relevant to the communities they claim to serve, I think it's time they sat back and reassessed the situation. Our engagement with their message may not be as pessimistic as they sometimes assume. As an increasingly secular society, we may not actually be that dismissive of and far removed from the central Christian story.

The Gospels would have us believe that Jesus, the son of God, died for our sins and was resurrected today, Easter Sunday - the most important date in the Christian Calendar. In doing so, Jesus proves his immortality to us and, with his aspirational message of "Be nice to others and you'll go heaven", offers us this immortal option too, come the day of judgement.

I'd argue that we have all of us, believers and non-believers, taken that message on board in some shape or form. Immortality has captured our imaginations for thousands of years and has been a tantalising quest for many down the ages. It seems to be a universal obsession. Along with Christianity, many of the other major religions have dangled this carrot as a reward for signing up and living by their rules. Literature too is littered with stories of immortality: Dr Faustus, Dorian Grey, Peter Pan and Orlando, to name but a few.

Pictured on the right is me aged 34 - about the same age as Jesus when he died, give or take a couple of years. No thinning hair, no grey, no wrinkles (other than a few laughter lines) and able to eat any crap in any quantity I fancied. How time changes us! At that age, would I have welcomed being frozen in time as I then was? Probably not. Ask me the same question today and, while it's not quite the simple and straightforward answer it was 15 years ago, I think the response still has to be a no.

While I have no desire to live for ever, I wouldn't mind prolonging my health, maintaining my looks and hanging on to my faculties for a little bit longer. Who wouldn't? At 49, I don't think I'm doing too badly; I try to stay reasonably fit, I try to eat a healthy diet and I try to stay active both physically and mentally. Ultimately though, as you well know, I'm fighting a losing battle; we all are.

As sure as (Easter) eggs is eggs, we're all gonna die. In the meantime, should we need a helping hand in squeezing the brakes and resisting the ravages of time, there are many options open to us, in addition to simply trying to remain active and eating a good diet: anti-aging creams, hair restorers, botox, cosmetic surgery and cryonics are, depending on your budget, worthy of consideration. However, no matter what advancements they make in science, cosmetics and medicine, deterioration and expiry are, ultimately, an inevitability.

While many of us no longer believe in the Gospels' every word, I think that the desire for immortality is part of our culture - even if that only stretches to a momentary and cosmetic defying of mortality and a slight postponement of the inevitable. And, for you believers out there: in the unlikely event that the Gospels got it right and immortality is really an option; well, even you are going to have to age and die prior to your moment of rapture.

Stiff and cold...

Euurgh! I woke up in the middle of the night feeling dreadful. I just wanted to throw up. Thinking about it, I'd fallen to sleep 3 hours earlier feeling a little nauseous. The hours ticked by as I tossed and turned and I felt worse with every minute that passed.

As the night dragged on I wasn't feeling any more nauseous but I'd started to ache. By the time my alarm went off this morning, every muscle, joint and bone was aching. I was sweating and feeling really cold.

I was booked on a copy writing course today and was really looking forward to it. I made the effort to stagger to the bus and go to work. To be fair, as the day progressed, I started to feel better.

However, now that I'm home again, I'm feeling a lot worse. I'm struggling to figure out whether it's something I've caught or eaten and, did I bring it home with me from my holiday or does the source lie closer to home?

No Smoking Day...

Today is No Smoking Day. A day to encourage smokers to quit. Thankfully, I don't smoke and haven't done in about 6 years. I gave up by going cold turkey over a couple of days I'd taken off from work. It wasn't easy.

Time was when I could easily top 30 a day without really trying. Given the option, I'd chain smoke. My clothes must have reeked of the stuff. If I went out at night, I could smoke myself hoarse. I liked smoking.

I've just re-read a piece I wrote about No Smoking Day back in 2002:

Yesterday was No Smoking Day here in the UK. I quite happily ignored it without one pang of guilt. I suppose it's quite useful to have one day which focuses attention on the issue... but it doesn't work for me.

I actually enjoy smoking but that doesn't mean I don't want to give up; I'm well aware of all the negatives associated with the habit. But the one thing that's gonna increase the number I get through in the day is some organised campaign to encourage me to stop. Child psychology. I must have a rebellious streak.

Wanting to be different and interesting; it's probably the most important factor that got me started in the first place. It's the same reason I never make New Year resolutions: I don’t want to be part of that set that search desperately to abstain from something on the 1st of January only to be admitting failure before they've taken the Christmas decorations down.

"What can I do - abstain from alcohol, become vegetarian, go on a diet, take up jogging, take up blogging, stop picking my nose?" I'd rather make any lifestyle changes quietly, when the moment's right for me. No Smoking Day? Sorry, I don't have the time; I've got to pop out for 20 Marlboro before the shops shut.

Re-reading that is like reading something someone else has written. It doesn't sound like my voice. How times change and one's priorities with them. If you'd asked me then whether I saw myself in 6 years time as a non-smoker, I'd have thought you were mad.

Eventually, I did give up smoking and for good (I hope). I'd tried many times but returned to smoking because I liked it. The reason I stopped 6 years ago (and so far have managed to stay stopped) is that I found something that I liked more than smoking. That something is running.

Good luck to all those who've decided to give up. One day at a time...

Today's run at 18:18
Distance	4.01 km	Time	22:41
Pace	5:39 min/km	Cadence	80 spm
Comments: Cold, foggy.

A kind of torture...

During school holidays I'd invariably be told off by mother for making a noise. You see, my dad did shift work, which meant that every 3rd week he'd have to work through the night. I used to hate night shifts because for the best part of the next day I couldn't yell, sing, scream, watch TV, play music or do anything that I really enjoyed doing for fear of waking my father.

My dad hated shift work too. He'd always spur us on to do well in school so that we could land a job that didn't involve working unsociable hours. For the most part, I've succeeded in this. Most of the jobs I've done over the last 15 years, I'm pleased to say, have followed office hours.

I've never been very good at keeping myself awake if I'm tired; I can nod off mid conversation if it's past my bed time. My idea of torture is being forced to stay awake. Sleep deprivation is a well tried interrogation technique. I'd sell my own mother at the merest hint of being denied my sleep. And when I don't get my proper rest, it knocks me sideways for days.

Look out tomorrow; tonight I have to go into work through the night....

Today's run at 17:15
Distance	4.02 km	Time	21:41
Pace	5:24 min/km	Cadence	81 spm
Comments: Grey.

Frostbite...

It was so cold when I went out for tonight's run. Usually, after a minute or two of running, whatever the weather, I am sweating. That didn't happen tonight and, despite wearing gloves, by the time I got home again my fingers were hurting because of the cold.

In my usual exaggerating way, I was convinced for a nano second that I had frostbite. My hands were that cold that my fingers ached. I could barely move them. I then came to my senses and realised that cold fingers are a long way from Frostbite.

Frostbite is a medical condition where localized damage is caused to skin and other tissues due to extreme cold. There are 4 degrees of frostbite and, depending on the severity of the frostbite, it can leave the patient with nerve damage, bone damage and tissue damage needing surgery and sometimes amputation.

Frostbite can affect any part of the body but the most common areas to to suffer are the extremities. The damage to tissue caused by frostbite often takes months to assess. This causes delays in surgery prompting the adage, Frozen in January, amputate in July.

You can find out more on the frostbite page at NHS Choices.

Today's run at 18:18
Distance	4.03 km	Time	21:08
Pace	5:15 min/km	Cadence	82 spm
Comments: Freezing. Clear.

Three steps forward, two steps back...

Behaviours are hard to change; it takes much longer than you'd think to eradicate one behaviour and embed another in its place. I've never been that proud of the way I deal with stressful situations. It's always been something I'd like to get better at dealing with.

If I look back over the last 6 months, I'd say that I've made progress but it has been much slower than I'd anticipated. Three steps forward and two steps back was never going to win me any races but I'm not interested in speed so much; I'm more interested in finishing.

This morning I did one of my backward steps; I reacted to something in a way that I shouldn't have done. I opened my mouth and what I thought sounded like a reasonable argument, on reflection, must have sounded like a rape alarm going off.

Such episodes in the past have been dwelt on and then gone on to ruin my entire day. However, today I put it behind me and then got on with the rest of the day. It worked. It was a productive day too. I felt I covered so much ground. I like days like today.

Today's run at 18:10
Distance	4.01 km	Time	21:37
Pace	5:24 min/km	Cadence	81 spm
Comments: Cloudy.

I'd be dead if it wasn't for this man...

Frederick Banting was a Canadian who, in 1921, was one of the main discoverers of insulin, which was achieved by keeping a diabetic dog alive using daily injections of canine pancreas extract. For this and his subsequent research, he won the Nobel Prize for medicine in 1923 and was knighted in 1934. His discovery has saved the lives of hundreds of thousands of people ever since, me included.

I have been diabetic since I was 15. I didn't get it because of bad diet or little exercise; I got it because my body started destroying the cells that produce insulin. This is sometimes know as Type 1 diabetes and it's an auto-immune disease.

Diabetes is one of those conditions that everyone thinks they know about but in most cases, they do not. The myths about diabetes are many:

You get diabetes because of a bad diet
You get diabetes because of lack of exercise
You can't eat sweet things if you're a diabetic
You can't drive if you're diabetic
You get ill all the time if you're diabetic
You have to eat special diabetic food if you're diabetic
Diabetes is contagious

Incidences of diabetes are increasing worldwide and especially so in the west. The cost of treating diabetics and keeping us healthy is huge but that bill becomes even bigger if we are left untreated and lose our health.

There's a rather good article on the BBC's website today that outlines the initial research on diabetes undertaken by Frederick Banting.

It's depressing...

The third Monday in January has become known as Blue Monday; the weather is cold and damp and the days are short, you wake to the arrival of a bloated credit card bill and the growing realisation that all your New Year's resolutions have failed. Science proves it to be the most depressing date in the calendar.

But does it and is it?

In reality Blue Monday started as a press campaign by Sky Travel in an effort to get people to shake their (so called) winter blues by booking a holiday. The article was largely pre-written before being circulated to the scientific community for endorsement. Cash was offered as a sweetener, should the thrill of seeing your name in print as the author of this claim not be enough.

Cardiff University's Dr Cliff Arnall, a psychologist, stepped up to the mark and into the limelight, and with a scientific equation to prove it.

Following the initial thrill of New Year's celebrations and changing over a new leaf, reality starts to sink in. The realization coincides with the dark clouds rolling in and the obligation to pay off Christmas credit card bills.

Cardiff University were quick to distance themselves from Dr Cliff and his psuedoscience. Dr Cliff has since gone on to write an equation to calculate the happiest day of the year (sponsored by Walls Icecream).

That was in 2005 and since then the press have run this story every year, despite some public campaigns (notably by Dr Ben Goldacre in his Bad Science column) to discredit this as meaningless babble. Google it today and you'll see from the results it's still a story that the media are prepared to flog to death. Surprisingly, it has also been used by organisations concerned with mental health to bring a focus to depression.

What's really depressing about all this is that depression is a real and very serious condition. It is not a slight feeling of vague sadness to be hijacked by the media and paraded through the press like a bank holiday; something to mark in your calendar for next year.

Arses and elbows...

I can still remember wincing when I read, some years ago, the story of the surgeons in a Welsh hospital who accidentally removed a healthy kidney, leaving the diseased kidney in the patient's body. Hot on the heels of that story came the next tale of welsh surgical horror. This confession tells of woman who had a right knee joint inserted into the left knee. Yet another case of cutting edge surgical skills here in the land of song.

Today the welsh news is reporting the story of the surgeon in Wales who mistook a woman's liver for a cancerous kidney he was trying to remove. There are 17 year old lads working as butcher's assistants that could have got this right.

Any doctors or surgeons working in large Welsh hospitals might like to cut out and keep this handy anatomical reference I've provided on the right.

And I know it's not easy, this right and left business but your right hand is usually the one you write and wipe your arse with. This is not always the case and perhaps it's best if you check it out with a friend.

Today's run at 18:17
Distance	4.09 km	Time	22:33
Pace	5:31 min/km	Cadence	81 spm
Comments: Clear. Fresh.

Resolved...

I went for an early(ish) run this morning in an effort to beat the crowds. The park was dead; just one girl walking her dog and playing with her mobile. The only other people I saw were two lads doing the walk of shame through Mermaid Quay and a cleaner in Pizza Express. I was the only runner; the New Year Resolutionaries hadn't yet surfaced.

New Year's resolutions generally cover the following subjects:

Improve well-being
Improve finances
Improve career
Improve education
Improve self
Take a trip
Help others

A recent study showed that while 52% of participants were confident of success with their goals, only 12% actually achieved them. Another recent study showed that 78% of those who set New Year resolutions fail. Is our will power really that weak?

I don't make New Year's resolutions anymore. I used to, many, many years ago but usually, before January was out they were long forgotten. So I stopped making them. Changes to behaviour are usually difficult and take a long time. They rarely happen overnight - even if that night is the one between December 31st and January 1st.

If you want to succeed at your resolution, you have to want to achieve it. That may seem obvious but I think that most people who make New Year's resolutions do not want to achieve their goal. They don't want to change their lives; they think they ought to change their lives. There's a difference and that difference is borne out in failure.

For most of my adult life I was a smoker. And for most of my adult life I believed I ought to quit smoking. I failed at this time after time because I enjoyed smoking. Success came when I started running. I enjoyed running more than I enjoyed smoking. Finally, I wanted to give up smoking rather than merely thinking I ought to. That was six smoke free years ago.

Alain de Botton, writer and TV philosopher, argues:

We don’t tend to make resolutions about things we completely believe in. Few of us would ever resolve to be appalled by war or disease. It just comes naturally. But we do resolve all the time to be kinder or more hardworking, because a sizeable part of us loves being cruel and sitting around. A resolution always hovers over a grave inner conflict and constitutes a vow by one part of ourselves against another. Which is why – according to some - we should never be so foolish as to make a resolution.

Whether you want to stop drinking or biting your nails, start exercising and being a better person or learn Suomi and become a virtuoso at the banjolele; there are opportune moments when these changes are more likely to succeed.

I have come to the conclusion that there are certain instances in your life when a change is right; disparate elements come together; things fall into place; your body tells you that it's right. Those instances rarely coincide with New Year's Day.

Today's run at 08:34
Distance	4.01 km	Time	23:29
Pace	5:51 min/km	Cadence	81 spm
Comments: Overcast. Backache.

Flesh...

I am not a vegetarian. However, I have, by and large, eaten a meat free diet since August. Yes, when I eat out I'll eat meat but I haven't really cooked any at home. I don't feel deprived and I can't say that I've missed it. It's no hardship.

Why am I doing this? It's not a conscious effort in support of green issues or animal rights or my own health - although, by varying degrees, I think all three are important to me. I just seem to have fallen out of the habit and, I must say, my food shopping bill hasn't scaled the heights it otherwise would have, had I been regularly buying meat to eat at every meal.

Of course, Christmas changes things somewhat: the frequency of eating out and also the pressure to eat meat increases. It can't be easy being vegetarian at this time of year. I remember when, as a student, I was vegetarian proper; everyone just expects you to eat meat at this time of year and if you don't then you are not enjoying yourself. In that Welsh food as a substitute for love culture, vegetarianism can even be seen as subversive: like you're spoiling it for everyone else by insisting on this silly behaviour.

My gran had a hierarchy of meat. Whenever I visited she'd always insist on cooking something for me. On learning that I was vegetarian, she paused for a moment then said, "So you don't want any beef then?" "What about pork?" "Will you try a bit of chicken?" "I got some cooked ham in the fridge?" "Sausages...?" "I think I got a tin of ham in the larder somewhere?" She looked flummoxed each time I refused her offers. When I suggested omelette, she went quiet and adopted a hurt expression, as if I'd told her that I didn't love her anymore.

That was 25 years ago. Attitudes have, no doubt, changed and I am no longer vegetarian. My diet of late, whether conscious or subconscious would not, however, impress my gran, "What about a pasty then boy, that's got potato in it...?"

Today's run at 08:17
Distance	4.03 km	Time	23:16
Pace	5:46 min/km	Cadence	81 spm
Comments: Calm, cloudy and cool.

Only connect...

I'm fairly open and honest about my diabetes and have been ever since I was diagnosed aged 15. As a diabetic, you don't really have much of a choice about being up front about it; when you're injecting yourself to bring your blood sugars down after a meal or cramming glucose into your face because your blood sugars are plummeting between meals - people tend to notice.

Ask non diabetics to tell you what they know about the condition and the answer is generally something like, "You can't eat sweet things and it must be a bit of an irritation" - both of which are somewhat wide of the mark. I often wonder why people don't understand diabetes better; it's not as if it's a rare condition - most people know someone who's diabetic (even if that is their Nan).

I've read two quite wonderful blog posts in the last couple of days from Matt's I Have No Idea and from Kristian's Sex, drugs and sausage rolls. Matt's is entitled Gary Speed but discusses Matt's experience of depression and Kristian's is entitled When failure is not an option and discusses Kristian's HIV experience. They are quite wonderful because of one thing that they both have in common: honesty.

Diabetes, depression and HIV infection share a number of attributes: all are chronic conditions which need to be managed, all are misunderstood to an extent and all require honesty; honesty with oneself to effectively manage the condition and honesty with others to promote a better understanding.

I wrote here recently in a post entitled Nobody's perfect... that life scars us from our first gasp to our last rattle. This scarring (along with the experience it brings), I argued, should be valued. I have a wealth of insight and experience as a result of living with diabetes. I know that Matt and Kristian will have their own insights and experiences from living with depression and living with HIV.

Life is often described as a journey - a cliché but a useful metaphor. One of the main things we all have in common is that we are all on different journeys. Your journey may be wildly different to mine in many respects but not so different that I can't benefit from the experiences you've had on your journey.

EM Forster wrote, "Only connect" as the epigraph to Howards End, advocating a bringing together of different elements and thereby promoting a higher understanding. The first step down that road is honesty - about who we are and what we've experienced. Here, in Matt's and Kristian's blogs, you have two people talking honestly about their experiences.

Only connect! That was the whole of her sermon. Only connect the prose and the passion and both will be exalted, and human love will be seen at its height. Live in fragments no longer.
- Howards End

Today is World AIDS Day. Let's live in fragments no longer.

Today's run at 18:01
Distance	4.26 km	Time	22:22
Pace	5:14 min/km	Cadence	81 spm

I've not been feeling myself...

ailing
bad
below par
donsie
down
faint
feeble
frail
ill
indisposed
infirm
laid low
not quite right
off colour
out of sorts
peaked
poorly
qualmish
queasy
rocky
seedy
shakey
sick
sickish
sickly
somewhat ill
under the weather
unwell
weakly
wobbly

dålig
doente
enfermo
have det dårligt
ikke rask
indisposé
indisposto
indispuesto
krasslig
onwel
opasslig
sjuk
souffrant
unwohl
utilpas

It seems that even God has limitations...

Tonight I read the news about the dangerous advice given by certain churches in London, Manchester and Glasgow for people with HIV to stop taking their medication. Instead, the churches claim, the Lord will cure these people. As a consequence, at least six people have already died after following this advice.

At Lourdes, crutches, walking sticks and canes are hung up as proof of the miracles that the Lord has performed there, allowing the lame to walk again - a testament to our Lord's infinite powers. But if his powers are so infinite, where have they hung the false legs and prosthetic arms and glass eyes...?

Advice to people with serious conditions to give up their medication and instead trust in God is surely evil and unchristian. Don't we still prosecute people in this country for assisting suicide...?