Wednesday, 25 July 2012

Twitticisms II...

Many of you will have read my occasional posts here and there about the things that make me laugh on Twitter. Twitter seems to lend itself to a certain kind of humour. No shaggy dog stories here because you're limited to 140 characters; you have to be concise with any humour and, if you're going to tickle my funny bone, the pithier the better.

And so without further procrastination:
Give a man a job and you have an employee, but teach him to shift blame and you have a manager!
@Llanigan

Two old woman meet for coffee, first lady says "did you come on the bus?" other replies "yes, but i made it look like an asthma attack".
@whyfi

"Jeremy Kyle is like a 21st century Dr Dolittle"... Brilliant quote!! Haha
@phillavelle

I got my dad a wooden leg for Christmas. It wasn't his main present though. Just a stocking filler.
@strutcakes

People who use predictive text are aunts.
@GCostin

Dull, plain looking woman on #superscrimpers tells me to freeze something called "left over wine" No I don't have a clue either.
@chris_burton_

Women say childbirth is the most painful thing... obviously they have never stepped on a Lego.
@jeddyamazing

Grammar. The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit!
@ceri_dee

Just about to Felch my first creme egg of the year.
@Mumraa

I dont think I could ever stab someone, let's be honest I can barely get a straw into a capris sun.
@jameswalker1979

Found out last night that I'm both gay and dyslexic. I'm still in daniel.
@Pundamentalism

As we left hospital once again, we wondered whether to change the safe word from llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.
@50ShedsofGrey
You can, of course, see all this and more first hand by joining the other tweeps on Twitter.

1 Year Ago:Spontaneity...

Run 25/07/2012 19:40
Distance5:01 kmTime28:24
Pace5:40 min/kmCadence80 spm
Comments: Sunny and hot.

Run 23/07/2012 17:09
Distance5:02 kmTime28:06
Pace5:36 min/kmCadence79 spm
Comments: Sunny and hot.

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